"Do you consider yourself to be human?"
I don't know if it's an extreme coincidence or the result of some kind of genius, psychically-powered marketing strategy that determined the release date for Ted 2, but whatever the reason, it just so happens to share that date with the Supreme Court decision to legalize gay marriage nationwide. It couldn't be more fitting, for Ted 2 is a movie about human rights, delving deep into the themes of discrimination and the modern civil rights movement; a bold statement on what it means to be a person in the eyes of the law and others in society. Nah, I'm just fuckin' with you. It's about a teddy bear that likes to get high, watch TV, and drink with his buddy, John. If you didn't like that joke, you're probably won't like Ted 2 or its 2012 predecessor, both of which follow writer/director Seth MacFarlane's style of humor to a T. Mix in pop-culture humor, shock humor, gross-out humor, sexual humor, political humor, historical humor, and irreverent humor, you'd get the epitome of everything MacFarlane has ever touched (though sometimes he does forget the humor part).
"I've been led to understand that Trix are exclusively for children... Is that correct?"
We find Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) and his girlfriend Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) at the alter on the day of their marriage. John (Mark Wahlberg) is sulking a bit at the after party, still not over the divorce of his wife Lori from the first movie. After a beautifully staged musical opening sequence, we fast-forward a bit to Ted and Tami-Lynn constantly fighting, their two types of trashiness colliding violently. Due to some extremely unwise advice from a co-worker, Ted decides that in order to preserve his marriage, he and his wife should have a baby. But with Ted being a toy and all, he can't conceive on his own. He goes about trying to adopt a baby only to find that he doesn't have any civil rights because the government doesn't deem him a person. He loses his job, his marriage is revoked, and worst of all, his convenience store rewards cards are revoked. John gives him the idea to sue the government for his civil rights, but the only lawyer they can get is the inexperienced Samantha Jackson (Amanda Seyfried), who does her best, but have to deal with corruption from the likes of the president of the Hasbro toy company and Ted's biggest stalker, Donny (Giovanni Ribisi).
"There are no chicks with dicks Johnny, only guys with tits!"
Ted 2 is ripe with all the things that make MacFarlane's shows funny and some of the things that... don't. What tips this sequel toward being more "good" than "bad" is the obvious commitment of everyone involved. The script is funny - even very funny at points - but sometimes it focuses on gags that run on too long and like to revel in immaturity rather than on jokes that are fast and witty. Some jokes are dead on arrival, but the writers keep pressing on like the joke is working, and it can be downright painful at points (a scene featuring a Tom Brady cameo comes to mind). What helps the film is that even more so than the first Ted, the world the characters inhabit is one that follows cartoon logic; definitely the way to go when your main character is a talking teddy bear (no matter how ridiculously real he looks). And you can't really call the film out for being lazy; seldom does it do what an alarmingly high number of comedy sequels do: tell the same story, but use the find/replace method on the screenplay (the last film was in Vegas? This time it's in Bangkok!). Even parts of the third act that are basically beat for beat what happens in the first film are more so parodied than they are plagiarized. Overall, the new story puts Ted at the forefront over his human companions.
"We could totally be lawyers."
That's not to say that the supporting cast doesn't get their moments to shine. Though it's a shame we lose Mila Kunis, we gain Amanda Seyfried in the role of Wahlberg's love interest, and while the two don't exactly share the same chemistry, Seyfried gives a surprisingly charming performance and proves she has great comedic chops outside of acting like a bimbo whose boobs have ESPN. Jessica Barth (who was nothing more than a punchline in the previous movie) is pretty great as well, especially during a dinner argument that might normally have been used as her Oscar clip had it not been for the teddy bear she's arguing with. And honestly, the film is at its best when it's playing up that joke; the cute little teddy bear is a foul-mouthed, pot-smoking comedian.
"I think if we got a kid to love, it'll teach us how to love each other again."
Ted 2 is far from terrible, but it's just not light enough on its feet to match the first movie, Comic Con climax and all. I laughed hardest at the jokes that were probably trying the least hard (Patrick Warburton in a Tick costume... I'll say no more), and cringed most often at the jokes that seem to be appealing to the fourteen-year-olds in the audience. It's a lot smarter than it has any right to be, has at least one good courtroom speech (seriously, those marketing bastards had to know about the SC case), and has a cast that's committed and likable. Let's not forget to mention that it makes better use of the Jurassic Park theme music than this summer's own Jurassic World. With some heavier editing, it could have been more fun, but as it is, it's just an inconsistent good time.
7/10
