American Idol: The Farewell Season Premiere

No. NO. That's impossible.  American Idol did not premiere FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.  I refuse to believe it.  Regardless, here we are on the eve of the season premiere of what will be the last season of the show.  In the early 2000s, Idol redefined reality television and spawned countless imitators in the intervening years that have mostly been interesting, but never quite captured what American Idol has, or at least what it used to have.  Based on the British reality show Pop Idol, the first few seasons were cultural phenomenons because of a few golden factors, chief among them being two questions you could "How cruel can Simon Cowell be?" and "Who out of these everyday nobodies is going to be the next ultra-famous pop star?"  Everyone was addicted. Without those two factors, it's just another talent show, and unfortunately, that's kind of what it turned into.  Simon's been gone for years with no one asshole-ish enough to replace him and Idol winners just don't go on to become stars... like at all.  No more Kelly Clarksons, no more Carrie Underwoods, and no more Chris Daughtrys.  But all of this is ok; American Idol was special because it was lightning in a bottle. It's good to see it bow out now before it jumps the shark... oh wait, Nikki Menage was already a judge.  Ok, so it won't be going out with dignity, but it is nice to see that the producers are proud of it enough to make its final season seem like a big deal, in spite of what I'm sure must be cataclysmic ratings.

What to make of the premiere?  I haven't followed the show in years, but not much has changed format-wise.  Good ol' Ryan Seacrest is still charming his way through scene transitions and the judges are still clearly trying too hard to ad-lib (which is part of the fun), but there's definitely a sense of deflation when it comes to the formula.  These judges are no Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul or Satan himself, but I suppose they're alright.   Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban, and Harry Connick, Jr. clearly know the business well enough, but they like to use the word "pitch" a lot without giving much interesting criticism to offer to the people they pass or the ones they reject.  They lack chemistry and good interactions,  so they're little jokes, like standing in different places before an overweight honky-tonk singer, come off as a bit forced.  One of the contestants fake arrests Harry at one point.  Um... hilarious?  I don't know, I think it would have been more fun if they'd somehow reunited the original judges, or maybe even got some Idol alums to judge.  That might have been fun, no?

I have to admit that I did get a good laugh at the build-up of sad stories culminating in the sixteen-year-old yodeling girl who busts out her whole privileged life story without taking a breath.  Good to see that the producers can parody themselves a bit.  But there were a few good tearjerkers, including a fifteen-year-old who lost his brother and sings like a freakin' angel.   Seriously dude, your voice just dropped, like, last year.  While many of the talent that made it through was pretty mediocre, there were a few teens who were absolutely stellar.  Also, since when can you bring an instrument to the audition?  Last I checked, this was a singing competition first, and then later on people could play an instrument if they wanted.  It seemed like every other contestant was playing guitar, which... I don't know it just feels like a distraction.  A cappella is much harder to pull off and can be more impressive (or more damning).

Part of the (admittedly mean-spirited) fun of watching the auditions is to see some really bad auditions (probably the third major reason Idol took off the way it did), and I must say there wasn't anything all that memorable.  One of the rejected men, the previously mentioned honky-tonker, was let down rather cruelly after the judges all danced and sang along with his audition.  It's a combination of mean-spirited and awkward that's just cringe-inducing.  Have all the whacked-out people auditioned already?  We Americans are a bloodthirsty bunch, and we need weirdos to make fun of and make ourselves feel better! Oh well.  This was only Georgia, there's still time.  Also, can someone explain what that Kanye West stuff was at the end?  I mean, besides the ego stroking.  I got that loud and clear.

Knowing that the winner of this competition might not be a superstar kills a bit of the mood the show needs to keep it interesting, and the judges are less-than ideal, but I can't say it was a bad two hours of television.  It's still better than the average reality show, and a few of the winners did hit me right in the feels against my better judgement.  And who knows?  Maybe because it's the last season, the show will get more attention and the winner will be something special, but only time will tell.  In any case, I might as well enjoy the show while I can and see if I can get wrapped up in it the way I used to.

I'll give it six Sanjayas out of ten William Hungs.